Bilingual Ballistics

Hello to my one million fans! I can’t thank you enough for following in such huge numbers since I’ve started my site! One million… Who would have thought? For reference, I like to round up numbers to the nearest million; it’s just more convenient that way.

Anyways, back on subject. When I moved from my home town in Quebec to Calgary in Alberta, my beloved got me a cellphone at the closest Futureshop (there’s something like 5 or so in the city). The Motorola K1m, also known by its edgier name of K-RAZR (pronounced Krazor), I quickly found out was quite deceiving.

You may have seen those commercials on TV where a man and a woman fight in a subway station using razor sharp cellphones. That was the RAZR, but even the flashy kung fu fighting of that commercial couldn’t change the fact that cellphones become outdated in less time than it takes to say “WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE NEXT MODEL IS ALREADY OUT?!”. I later found out that the RAZR doesn’t even have a feature as common nowadays as a music player, so I got the K-RAZR which is a slightly updated model which also features the ability to play music.

That’s when the trouble started. Playing music drains your phone’s battery; everything you do with your phone drains its battery to different levels, of course, but the drainage caused by listening to music on the K1m is nothing short of laughable, especially for a phone that prides itself on its ability to play music. It also doesn’t have an earphone or headset port, requiring you to either hunt for a headset that uses a mini USB (type A) port or an adapter to help you with that. Naturally, you could also use a bluetooth headset, but if you thought battery drainage was bad before, you’ll be in tears laughing hysterically over how quickly the phone dies when bluetooth is added to the mix.

Fast forward a year later, and my phone typically dies within half an hour of using it to, you know, call people. On full charge. Yeah.

Introducing the Nokia “You wish you were as good as me” E71. You know those Blackberries? It’s basically a Blackberry, but with the Nokia brand.

Powerful, slick, nicely designed and professional looking. But enough about me, let’s get back on subject. The Nokia E71 features a full keyboard, 10 shortcut keys, a decently sized screen, and a generally very well made design. One of its best advantages though is the wide variety of downloadable applications for its operating system, Symbian, compatible with Nokia phones that use it. In fact, I’m currently using WordMobi on my phone to type this right now! It even lets you switch programs on the fly without closing them, in an Alt+Tab sort of way.

From what I hear, its battery life (a big concern for me after my previous phone’s ridiculous one) is practically legendary. I’m not a big phone buff, but it lasts at least a week even though I listen to music a lot, use apps and the built in Internet browser, and even use bluetooth so I can chat with my buddies and family as well as my girlfriend wirelessly with the added bonus of looking like some crazy guy talking to himself.

Of course, I already do that without the need for a bluetooth device or a phone.

All in all, I’m very satisfied with my new phone. Admittedly, there’s more to it as well, but that’s mostly related to having switched to a better (albeit substantially more expensive) service provider.

Well, it has finally come to this… I have a blog.

Who would have thought? Blogs, vlogs and whatever other trendy (and typically idiotic) words are common nowadays, and it seems like everyone has a blog (or twenty) and is following friends (that is, strangers) on a few dozen community websites. God I hate fads. Blogs and such are great tools for people to publish their work and have it seen by the masses, systems that have allowed many talented people to showcase their fascinating art, be it video, audio or other.

And then you have the vast majority of other blogs. I can hardly think of anything more useless in the history of humanity than those. Regardless, complaining about that subject any more than I already have would risk creating a black hole of irony, so I should stop. For now.

So! Bilingual Ballistics is a weird title isn’t it? Don’t look too hard into what it means, you’d be deceived. I’m bilingual, my first language being French and my second being Swahili. Oh man, I’m so funny I think I may just have to set the humor aside for now; it may be too subtle for the masses. Anyways, I plan to post articles both in French and in English.

Speaking of articles though, what will they be about? Well, here’s a little info about me first. I’m a an avid gamer (to say the least) who’s been playing games from all generations for about 20 years as of this writing, a technology lover and watcher of movies (particularly classics). I also often find myself to be constantly balancing between two contradicting points of view, and as such tend to switch from a positive outlook to a cynical one.

Back to the subject though, my articles will be about anything I feel like; games, technology, movies, random shit that goes through my mind. Oh yeah, there’s another thing right there: I don’t consider myself to be the kind of guy that swears like a sailor, but I don’t like to restrain my language and I sure as hell won’t be doing that here.

Hope you liked my first post! Just kidding of course, introductions suck.